Bitchin' Out

Hello Gentlemen,
I write to you all here today on the Dogpound forum knowing that you will all likely never check this but perhaps months from now, one of you will stumble back to this site and finally understand. Today I had a heated argument with a pound member who will remain unnamed and in this conversation I was quoted as being the second biggest bitch in the dogpound and I also received a comment which outlined me as an idiot.

Today, thanks to this members thoughtless comments, I am officially bitching out. I am hereby informing you of my official resignation from the dogpound; I will miss you dearly.

Some things I would like to address before I finish this post. For starters, I find it highly disrespectful to call the former President of St. Mary's an idiot. If I am truly an idiot/retard/whatever, then that would make you an even bigger idiot assuming you voted for me (The Idiot). Oh, and Global warming isn't real Tim. You can't call me an idiot because I am uneducated on your side of the argument. Why the fuck would I bother to read up on something that isn't true. You throw stats at me all the time about how many scientists believe in global warming and I told you I don't care because their funding comes from people who have an invested interest in the matter. You say this isn't true because Scientists are "funded by the schools moron". Well who funds the schools smart guy? That's right. Now if you care so much about Global warming...wait what was that? oh, sorry, while I was writing this, they have changed it to Global Climate change to make sense of all the random cold weather, hurricanes, tornados and earthquakes. This is definitely turning into a big issue. Anyways, if you care so much about Global Warming, then how about you pick up a book written by scientists much smarter then you or I who believes global warming is not a fact and actually educate yourself on the counter argument. Perhaps then you can try and throw some more statistics at us that prove something completely irrelevant and random.

Now, with regards to the comment that I am a bitch, you are now about to seriously witness Stephan the bitch. You think I bitch out before? You are about to experience what Stephan would be like as a bitch. Who is the group organized and created the BWF, a tradition that brought us all together on numerous occasions and have left us with memories that will last a lifetime? I did. And who here bitched out of that entirely? Conor. Tim. Secondly, who organized and started the greatest Flutie Flakes dynasty and brought us to Oakville, and even to Hidden Acres over a span of three years? I did. And who bitched out? Conor. Tim. Fellas, for as much bitching you do about the bad economy I sure don't see you doing your part to help it. Tim and Bruno, you both needed hockey gear and both of you were so cheap that between the 2 of you there are maybe 3 pieces of new equipment. I have actually supplied you with more equipment than you bought. Conor, you were so cheap, you bought used shin pads that are too small and probably wasted 15 bucks on them when I even told you there was a deal at walmart for new senior pads for 20; but oh yeah, I forgot, we shouldn't buy from walmart and big corporations because they treat their employees poorly? Fuck you Bruno! Why don't you go out and purchase your own god damn tennis racket, you know, support the little guy who wants 200 bucks for the good quality racket. That goes for you too Conor. Wouldn't it make sense to invest in one quality racket then to waste 25 dollars on your piece of shit wilson you bought which you couldn't play with to the point you chucked it at the pavement? Instead, you could take advantage of the great deals I throw your way and get yourself a real racket that will last you a lifetime on sale from 160 down to 60 and you are still too cheap to buy it. What a shame. And speaking of tennis, that is another thing that I initiated. I created that league, and I even bought trophies and special awards just to keep you interested. And who bitched out? Let's see, Bruno refuses to play because he sucks so fucking bad. Conor thinks squash is cooler so he quit. And Tim, your participation over the last 3 seasons barely warrants being called a TTA member. You have played maybe 2 more matches then Bruno in that time. Disgraceful. It was me who looked up and found out that Ti-cat season tickets were 125 and thanks to Rick, we got season tickets for less than 100. My passion for CFL sparked a summer we will never forget. The experience of being part of the best crowd in the CFL and seeing the Ti-cats go to the playoffs for the first time in more than 3 years AND a home game we all saw and watched our Ti-cats lose a close one in OT. And who bitched out? Tim. CFL fantasy is all thanks to me. Every video we have ever attempted to make, every TV show, anything. That was all written by me! I do everything and you don't even realize it because after I wrote a flawless 6 episode script for Shmegma's Bandumentary, not a single dogpound member actually took initiative to film. I organized our NBA 3 on 3 tournament. I tried to get us to do March Madness 3 on 3 and not a single one of you would even give me a student card number, not a fucking one. You all bitched out.

So fellas, I'm sorry if my availability doesn't allow for me to attend fucking wing night at 10 on most nights. I have more important things that take priority over sitting with a bunch of losers and hear more shit about how global warming is real not to mention a couple of you, *cough Tim, don't even buy anything. You just sit there sipping water. You should be embarrassed. Get the fuck out of the restaurant and make room for someone who is actually going to buy some food! Are you going to tip the waitress for bringing you a fucking water all night you cheap fucking bitch. Man up and buy a fucking drink you piece of shit. Support your local economy which you like talk about all the time. You make me fucking sick! I can't do wing night because I have hockey mondays and wednesdays and I would much rather play hockey then sit on my fat ass listening to your bullshit. I have made an effort even with projects to do to come out on Tuesdays as well where I know that you would never do the same if it was you. Bruno, you bitched out a couple times cause you had to "study", or "finish an essay" so don't fucking call me out when I have a project due faggot. As you bloody well know, Rick and I had a gig as professional commentators this year. That makes us unavailable for wing nights on thursdays and friday nights. Deal with it, thats an actual excuse. I get paid to sit on my ass, watch hockey and talk about statistics (and I mean relevant statistics, unlike global fucking warming). Conor and coach hockey on weekends, it is not convenient to hang out late on Pizza night when we have to coach at 7am the next god damn morning. And speaking of coaching, who bitched out on that? Rick.

So, if you thought I was a bitch before, you are about to see just how bitchy Stephan can get!! You are about to meet Bitch Stephan!! I am never coming to Wing night with you bunch of fags again. I have better things to do with my life if you can believe it. Your texts will be conveniently responded to when I am not busy or feel like texting you back. Everything that you want to do will from now on be deemed stupid by me and I will not grant you my participation. So Tim, next time you need an extra baseball player, go fuck yourself. I played baseball 4 times last year with the hopes that you would return the favor and play tennis but you didn't even play a fucking match! Screw coming out to play one time, you didn't even play in one fucking match!!! You think I'm going to play poker? Fuck you! Bruno, next time you want to go to the comic shop, I will no longer skip my class just to grab some lamb and take you to the comic shop, find your own way home asshole. I am never playing faggy football with you again. I don't find it fun to run around in the mud and have you wrap your arms around me and feel me up as you try to take put me on my back and fuck me up. That is easily the gayest thing this pound does. Conor, when you find out what the fuck it is you want to do because apparently you feel like you're still in highschool when we hang out because apparently everything we do is too childish for your elitist, high classed, stuck up, pretentious attitude, when you figure that out, I will definitely not be down for it; it will likely be stupid anyways. Rick, you probably won't want to do anything so I won't even bother saying I'm not down for whatever you want to do. You're too fucking busy being the biggest bitch in the dogpound to come out anyways and you know what's worse? You know you're the biggest bitch and its like you're proud of it.

For the rest of you, you all need to find yourself a vagina. I am not your bitch and maybe some pussy would take your attention away from whining to hang out with me all the god damn time. Good luck making your own websites for all the things you will do in the future. I have purposefully used the only website I didn't create to do this resignation because I know none of you will check this.

Go jack yourself off

you will be missed pal. You are the best

Stephan, this essay "Bitchin' Out" was so well-thought out that I felt the urge to sign up for the forum that you created just to reply.
... I'm sorry you feel that way Stephan. You will be missed

On a related note, Bruno, do you think you could send out a Kijiji request for a new pound member? Enjoys bitching, hates global warming, and ikes doing stuff that nobody else wants to do? That'd be great, thanks.

Global Warming Lover,
I am deeply honored that my essay touched you in such a way however I cannot take credit for creating this delightful forum which you would know if you read my post correctly, but that's typical of global warming enthusiasts to get their facts mixed up. also, I think the name is great, I am right on board with you pal. Global Warming is awesome, I didn't have to shovel any snow this winter. I can't wait to see what else global warming can do for us